Well folks, I again have big news.
After plenty of thought and deliberation, many a pros and cons list that weighed heavily on my mind and heart, a long talk with my mom, followed by a long talk with myself, I have made another important decision. One that has again changed the path I am following and the future I am pursuing. I am content and surprisingly relieved with this decision.
I am not moving to Portland or going to the Art Institute.
Now you can say, "I knew it!" or scream "Whyyyyyy?!?!?". To baffle you, confirm your suspicions, or answer your questions, there were two main factors that led me to this decision.
1. Money. There simply just isn't enough of it, is there? At least that's the general consensus of most people I know. And life as a fairly recent post-grad has surely made me value my money. And not just mine, but that of my generous and loving parents, who have already put me through a public, well-known four year university for five years, supported me for nearly my entire life, including those less than financially secure college and post-college years. And now that I have a full time job, with great benefits, a nice place to live, and am starting to build some financial stability, I can't bring myself to throw away such security and independence to go back to school, for a ridiculous amount of money, that I would need from my parents and undoubtedly in loans. And do I really want to be nearly 30, fresh out of college again, with loan payments and starting in the workforce all over again? No, no, and no.
Besides, I truly want my parents to use their hard-earned money for themselves. On vacations and on anything they went without in exchange for supporting their restless and reckless eldest child. Not that my brother was less money, he's just less complicated. I couldn't have been more blessed and I so appreciate all that they have done. But I realized that I didn't want to place this burden upon them or myself.
2. I began to lose heart for "Portland" and all that it meant to leave where I am now and start anew. When I made the initial decision I truly meant it and couldn't wait for the new journey to begin. But, as many of you are aware of, a new journey snuck in and started to lay before me, while I wasn't even paying attention. My heart, for many reasons, is still in the Palouse and I don't think I could leave without regrets. I do love fashion and I haven't given up on a future career in the industry, but I am perfectly content to go about it another way.
Yes, my Mountain Man was a great reason to stay. But when we began our relationship it was understood that I would be moving to Portland in March and we would make it work regardless. But I'll never forget the smile on his face and the way I felt when I told him I was staying.
With all that said, and to echo what I said earlier, I am so happy with my decision. It's interesting how life works. I have always loved Pullman and the Palouse area, so much so that I wanted to move back after I graduated from WSU and left. And even after I did, I wasn't always sure I was where I was supposed to be. Life works in strange ways. I feel as though I went on a journey, with every intention of leaving and having a completely different life, only to find myself doing the opposite. And in that journey I truly did find myself, right where I've always wanted to be.
Just my opinion...but I could never credit random coincidences but give glory to God for so intricately piecing together the puzzle pieces that I would have forever stared at in frustrated incomprehension. It is true, when you hand over control to Him you are inherently blessed with something better than you could ever come up with for yourself. Thank goodness.
The Palouse is a great place to call home. And Portland is a nice place to visit. Like I always say, everything happens for a reason. I could analyze every event, thought, or word in detail to find just how I came to be where I am now. But none of that is necessary. I don't care how it happened, or where I thought I was going. I'm just happy to be where I am now.
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