Halloween Candy. It should be banned from the office if I'm at all concerned about my waistline. Which I am. I want it to stay where it is, or rather, have it shrink. But I also love candy. Especially bite sized Halloween candy. It's piled into buckets, left out in dishes on desks and counters for anyone walking by. Or for those of us stalking the contents of the candy dish. And know where the extra candy is stashed. For those of us, we are in trouble.
Halloween, like every other Americanized holiday, starts earlier and earlier each year. Pretty soon, Wal Mart will be rolling out their costumes and pumpkin carving kits barely after the Fourth of July. It's ridiculous. Who decided that we needed to start thinking about things such as Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving weeks or even months in advance? What about us non-planners and non-thinker-aheaders? And those of us that are just content to enjoy the right now. If I don't want to worry about the holidays until they are actually here I shouldn't have to be forced to rifle through costumes and face paint to make sure I get the perfect Halloween digs, in AUGUST. Or shop for Christmas presents in July. I want to buy water floaties, flip flops, and fruit in July. Not stocking stuffers.
Anyway. Rant is over.
Back to Halloween. Every year I want to have the perfect Halloween costume. Yet I always seem to think about it, talk about it, and google it, but never get it figured out on time. Maybe it's because I'm not one of the crazed Halloween fanatics that turn my home into a haunted house and cover my lawn with tombstones, jack-o-lanterns, and skeletons. Not that I don't admire those that get that into the Halloween spirit. It's just a matter of planning ahead.
This year, like most years, I have no idea what I want to be for Halloween. I'm even toying with the idea of...not dressing up. Because do I really want to stand next to a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, a Hooters girl, a naughty witch, Cinderella in a mini skirt, or even a sexy bee? Not particularly. Since when did bees, lady bugs, and other insects get sexy, anyway? Right after a some girl (and by girl I mean a twenty-something young woman) decided to wear wings, an antennae on her head, fish net stockings, and platform heels, is when. Is anything safe from "sex-ification" these days?? Maybe I should go as sexy office supplies. I'll wear a low cut, short yellow dress, with knee high, high heeled boots, a pink hat on my head, and call myself a sexy pencil. Take that, you sexy bee.
I am not condoning skimpy Halloween costumes, merely mocking them. That's probably the only reason I'll put on my fake eyelashes and dress up among the zombies, witches, and ghosts. To gawk at the newest line of Halloween lingerie.
What was the title of this blog post?
Happy Halloween everyone. May you be safe, have fun, eat too much candy, and have the perfect Halloween costume. Sorry if you just clicked submit on your order for the Sexy Bee costume that probably cost $75 and will get here three days after Halloween. But I'm sure you'll be the cutest bee in town!
Ha! You should join in my campaign of making things that shouldn't be sexy sexy costumes. This year Sexy Mothra is making its debut. I've already been a Sexy Dinosaur, Sexy Cardboard Robot, and Sexy Lunch Lady. All homemade costumes, of course. I dare you to be a Sexy Pencil. Do it!
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